Lien On Your Dreams

It’s labor day weekend and sadly summer’s almost over. I had such high hopes for this summer. I thought that by starting this blog our lives would somehow magically be transformed, that all the exciting things I had planned would come into being by sheer force of will alone. But, as the season winds down, I feel like that song “Lien On Your Dreams.”

Living with Chris’s disabilities can be limiting, and sometimes, since they aren’t readily visible and they’re not mine, it can be easy to delude myself into having unreal expectations. It’s not just his injuries though, we also have other limiting factors. Our car is in need of a new transmission. So, we either ride our bikes or take the bus wherever we go. And, living on just what we get from the VA, his disability compensation and my education benefits, also cramps our style. I’d love to be able to go for hikes to the amazing pools and waterfalls here in Oregon, or travel to the coast for the day; but, in reality, right now these just aren’t possible.

So, I let myself feel bummed for a little. Then, I think about all the good things. Chris had a great appointment last week at the doctors. They’re now going to try to do more than just throw pills at him. There are some treatments they want to try, steroid shots for his back and a TENS unit for chronic pain therapy. They also sent a list of dietary recommendations, a lot of what was on there we’ve already been including in our grain/dairy/sugar free Paleo diet. So, that felt good, like we’re on the right track. His doctor was also happy about the walks and bike rides we do around the neighborhood.

We haven’t done spectacular things this summer, but, we have made the most of what we can do. We’ve BBQed with my Dad and Stepmom, experimenting with new paleo recipes like Fig Salad with Honey Vanilla Cashews or BBQ Cherry Chicken. We’ve ridden our bikes along the river, sometimes to get ice cream. We’ve also bussed to downtown Eugene for mini dates, eating $2 a plate sushi or visiting the cafes at Fifth Street Public Market. Just normal stuff.

It’s easy to lose focus on what’s really important, to think about what you want, not what you already have. We have a great life. It’s nothing fancy, but, we’re happy. In two years I’ll be finished at the University, and now there’s renewed hope for Chris and his chronic pain. Our situation right now may be a lien on our dreams, but, maybe someday in the future it can be paid off.

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